Is your child asking questions about dreams and nightmares that he or she is having? Learn tips for how to discuss dreams and nightmares with your child.
Parents want to stop nightmares and learn what causes nightmares. Most don’t realize that nightmares occur for a reason and they are nothing to be afraid of, as nightmares serve a purpose.
Dreams can give people important clues to solving life’s problems. While everyone and everything in dreams are aspects of self, the dynamics of relationships can also be revealed. The same can be said for nightmares.
How to Discuss Dreams and Nightmares With Your Child
Validate the Importance of Dreams for Kids
Every parent has felt helpless when a child is crying because something frightened them while they were asleep. Hugs and kisses and words of comfort never seem like enough, and saying things like “it’s only a dream” can actually make things worse.
Dreaming is part of what it means to be human. Animals probably have dreams as well – any child who has a pet dog is probably aware of this fact, as dogs frequently vocalize and “run” during dreams. It is easy to rationalize that waking up from a nightmare is similar to walking out of a movie theater after seeing a particularly unpleasant film and declaring “it’s only a movie” to calm oneself down. But when the “movie” is in one’s own head, the importance of it is personal.
Be a Good Example When Discussing Dreams
Parents can honor the significance of dreams by talking about their own efforts to remember and interpret them. Keeping a pad and pencil at the bedside to record dream symbols will aid in dream recall. Use the internet or an ordinary dream dictionary to look up symbols that seem meaningful, but don’t accept ideas that don’t ring true, as dream symbols can vary.
The important thing is that, by showing interest in their own dreams, parents give children permission to talk about their dreams. Sharing dream adventures as a family in the morning is a special kind of intimacy. Kids feel acceptance of their dreams as acceptance of self.
How the Subconscious Uses Fear in Nightmares
Ordinary dream recall is elusive; an individual goes to the bathroom, turns on a light, and by this time, the dream has faded from memory. But the nightmare is an experience that people remember. The subconscious uses fear in dreams to impress symbols on memory – saying, in effect, “Pay attention; this is important.” This is particularly true for reoccurring dreams.
For an example of interpreting nightmares, a pregnant woman dreams that her toddler is lost and dying. The dream is telling her that the relationship with her older child is about to change. He won’t be the baby anymore once the new infant arrives. She might use the information to pay more attention to, and to develop new aspects of her relationship with the older child to prepare them both for the upcoming change.
Children need to know that death in a dream indicates change; it’s not prophesy, and it’s not predicting the actual death of the person. It is also not a wish for the other to leave or die. Changes occur simply because the child is growing up and becoming more independent.
Monsters and fierce animals indicate opportunities to face fears. The first day of school, for instance, might be heralded by a dream of an unknown nightmare man. Remind children that they can choose to see monsters as cartoon characters and turn them into silly, friendly beings by stopping to confront them. This can be done mentally while awake, or by drawing pictures of the dream, or while actually sleeping if the child can realize they are dreaming.
Teach Kids About Lucid Dreaming
Being aware that one is dreaming is called lucid dreaming, and it is a skill that can be taught. A good start is to ask oneself frequently during the day if the surroundings are real or a dream. Try to change something, for example make a bicycle fly, to test the current reality.
Practicing while awake will make it easier to question experiences while asleep. Once lucid in a dream, control is up to the dreamer.
Be Open to Guidance for Dreaming
Dreams can help people make appropriate choices and tell an individual what’s going on with one’s health and relationships. Going up, such as climbing a ladder or a mountain, indicates a step in the right direction in life. Going down, such as seeing a planned purchase at the bottom of a flight of stairs, means buying that item would be a step in the wrong direction.
Choices that affect health can be showcased by dreams. Take the example of a woman who dreamed of a grocery shelf full of exorbitantly priced mayonnaise, butter, ice cream and cheese woke up with the distinct impression that the cost of her high-fat diet was too high in terms of her health. She went on a low fat diet and nipped any health problems in the bud. Junk foods or substances that need to be eliminated might be seen in a toilet in dreams, also.
The Settings in Dreams Have Meaning
Water might indicate that an emotional issue needs work. Flying probably indicates a spiritual meaning, and cars and trucks can pretty much be associated with physical problems. Blood, like death, is symbolic and commonly refers to the loss or careless use of energy. Insects might mean that little things are “bugging” or bothering the dreamer. Don’t be afraid to use a sense of humor when interpreting dreams and nightmares.
Let children become involved with dream interpretation by drawing or writing about dream symbols. Meanings can be very individual, the person who had the dream is the ultimate authority. Looking at several sources for clues can help, but always begin an interpretation for another with, “If it was my dream, I would think…” and allow for other possibilities.