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Category: Family

How to Simplify Your Schedule

Learn how to simplify your schedule as a busy mom! These tips will help you decide what cut from your busy schedule.

Photo by Emma Matthews Digital Content Production on Unsplash

For many Americans today, especially American mothers, busyness seems to be an unavoidable fact of life. Between work, family, volunteering, cleaning and all of the other things that moms have (and want) to do on a daily basis, there just never seem to be enough hours in the day.

We know that we’re too busy. But all too often, we don’t do anything to make the busyness stop–either because we don’t know what to do about it, or because we TELL ourselves that we don’t know what to do about it to put off making those tough decisions about what has to go.

Well, this year, it’s time to change that. It’s time to finally let go, to simplify and to live intentionally. Here are three reasons why you really do need to simplify your schedule this year.

Simplify Your Schedule

Make Time for the Things That Matter Most

How much of your time is spent doing things that actually matter and how much is wasted on tasks that you don’t really have to do? The truth is, the more time that you spend on the non-essential tasks, the less time you have for the essentials. Helping the PTA is great. Organizing the church bake sale is fantastic. Reorganizing your attic is wonderful. But every minute you spend doing these tasks is time that you don’t spend with your family.

Now, of course I’m not saying that you shouldn’t have any extra hobbies or responsibilities. What I am saying is that if your life is too full, it’s time to recognize your priorities and make sure that they are getting their fair share, even if that means you have to cut some other things out.

Read: How Creating a Daily Schedule Can Keep You on Track

45 Page Ultimate Mom Planner

Preserve Your Sanity

Secondly, while trying to “do it all” can feel fun and empowering in the short term, it can quickly cost you your sanity and even your health over time. No one can do everything all of the time, and by always running full speed ahead, you’re setting yourself up for failure. If you are constantly tired, irritable, forgetful, short-tempered or frazzled, your busy schedule might be to blame.

Five Reasons You Need to Make Rest A Priority

Ultimate Home Management Planner

Give Others the Permission to Do the Same

Lastly, one often overlooked benefit of creating a more manageable schedule is that it encourages others to do the same. I remember recently when I had to cut back on a few things. I really didn’t want to do it because I enjoyed the activities I was doing and I didn’t want to let others down. When I realized that something had to go and these activities were it, however, I knew I had no choice.

I thought people might not understand or that they would offer suggestions to help me “do it all” again. Imagine my surprise, however, when everyone was really encouraging and understanding! By admitting that we can’t do everything, we free others from the burden of comparison and thinking that they should be doing it all as well.

How is your schedule looking lately? Is it leaving you worn out and frazzled or have you found a good balance? What things do you need to get rid of today in order to achieve the things that matter most?

Busy Mom Planner

Read More:

8 Multitasking Ideas that Can Shave Hours Off of Your Day

Five Things You Are Wasting Your Life On and What to Do About It

July 7, 2021
How to Make a Pine Cone Bird Feeder
Are you a busy mom looking for a fun activity that’s both enjoyable and educational for your kids?

Look no further! Making homemade pine cone bird feeders is a great way to spend quality time with your little ones while helping your feathered friends.

Bird Feeders for Children to Make: Includes Apple Feeder, Orange Feeder, Sugar Cone Feeder, Gelatin Feeder, Toilet Paper Roll Feeder and more!

Bird Feeder Crafts Without Peanut Butter

It’s an easy craft that kids of all ages can enjoy, and it’s perfect for introducing young children to the joys of bird watching right from your kitchen window.

Supplies Needed:
- Large pine cones
- Natural peanut butter (or chunky peanut butter if you prefer)
- Bird seed (black-oil sunflower seed is a great high-protein food for wild birds)
- Plastic spoon, popsicle stick, or butter knife (for spreading the peanut butter)
- Paper plate
- String or a piece of twine
- Paper towels or a paper bag for clean-up
Directions:

First Step: Prepare Your Pine Cone

Place the pine cone on a paper plate. This will be your workspace to catch any mess.

Spread the Peanut Butter

Using a popsicle stick or a butter knife, spread a little peanut butter around the pine cone. Aim to cover as much of the pine cone as you can with a thin layer. This step is not just much fun but also a great opportunity for your kids to develop their fine motor skills.

Roll in Bird Seed

Pour some bird seed into a shallow dish or a deep bowl. Roll the peanut butter-covered pine cone in the bird seed until it’s well-coated. This can be a bit messy, so having paper towels on hand is a good idea.

Attach the String

Tie twine around the top of the pinecone, creating a loop for hanging. Make sure it’s secure, as you’ll be hanging this new feeder from tree branches in your backyard.

Hang and Enjoy

Find a good spot on a tree branch, preferably visible from a window, and hang your homemade pine cone bird feeder. This is a perfect feeder for different birds, especially during the winter months when blue jays, and other kinds of birds, frequent backyard feeders.

Bird Watching Fun

Now comes the best part! Sit back with your little ones and watch as a wider variety of birds visit your new pine cone feeders. It’s a delightful way to teach your kids about different birds, their eating habits, and the importance of caring for wild animals.

Tips and Variations:
- For those with peanut allergies, alternatives like sunflower seed butter or soy butter can be used.
- Experiment with different types of seed to attract a variety of birds. Larger seeds might attract blue jays, while smaller seeds like black-oil sunflower seed are perfect for smaller birds.
- If you’re interested in more outdoor activities, consider using different materials like fruit pieces or nut pieces in your feeders.
- For an extra educational twist, participate in national bird feeding month activities or learn about the birds that visit your feeders.
Creating a simple bird feeder using a pinecone, some peanut butter, and bird seed is not just a fun project; it’s a great way to spend time with your kids, teaching them about nature and the importance of caring for our feathered friends.

It’s an easy pine cone bird feeder craft that doesn’t require a lot of time or resources but offers a lot of enjoyment and learning opportunities.

So, grab those pine cones and get started on this great project today!

Tip: Create a few pine cone feeders and place them around different areas of your yard. Try to see which location attracts the most birds and discuss why the reason why it may be a hot spot!

Are Pine Cone Bird Feeders Good for Birds

Yes, pine cone bird feeders are good for birds. These pine cone bird feeders provide food for birds in need of a food source, especially during the winter months.
Pine Cone Bird Feeder

Materials

pine cones

peanut butter

bird seeds

plastic spoon, popsicle stick, or spatula (to spread the peanut butter)

paper plate

Instructions

Place the pine cone on a paper plate.
Using a plastic spoon or spatula, spread peanut butter around the pine cone. Try to cover as much of the pine cone as you can with a thin layer of peanut butter.
Once the pine cone is covered in peanut butter, roll the pine cone around in the bird seeds until the pine cone is covered with bird seed.
Tie a string at the top of the pine cone and hang from a tree in your yard.
Sit back and wait for the birds to arrive and enjoy the seeds from the pine cone bird feeder!
Frequently Asked Questions for Making a Pine Cone Bird Feeder

What type of pine cones are best for making bird feeders?

Large pine cones are ideal for making bird feeders as they have more surface area to spread the peanut butter and hold the bird seeds. Look for ones that have open scales, which make it easier to get the peanut butter and seeds into the crevices.

Can I use crunchy peanut butter instead of smooth peanut butter?

Crunchy peanut butter can work just as well as smooth peanut butter. It adds extra texture and nut pieces that birds might enjoy. However, ensure that it’s at room temperature to make spreading easier.

Is it safe to use peanut butter for bird feeders? What if there are peanut allergies?

Peanut butter is generally safe and a popular choice for homemade bird feeders. However, if there are concerns about peanut allergies, alternatives like sunflower seed butter can be used.

How do I hang the pine cone bird feeder?

Tie a piece of twine or string around the top of the pine cone. Make a loop or a slip knot for easy hanging. Choose a spot on a tree branch where birds feel safe and can easily access the feeder.

Can I make these feeders during the summer or are they just for winter months?

While these feeders are particularly beneficial during the colder months when food sources are scarce, you can absolutely make them year-round. Birds appreciate the extra food and it’s a great way to observe different birds in various seasons.

What kinds of birds will the pine cone bird feeder attract?

The types of birds attracted will depend on the bird seed used. Smaller seeds like black-oil sunflower seeds are popular with a variety of birds, including finches and sparrows, while larger seeds may attract bigger birds like blue jays.

How long will the pine cone bird feeder last?

The feeder will typically last a couple of days to a week, depending on weather conditions and bird activity. Check periodically and replace when necessary.

Are there any mess-free alternatives for younger children?

For a less messy activity, consider using pipe cleaners to make simple feeders. Thread cereal or small pieces of fruit onto the pipe cleaners and bend them into shapes for hanging.

Can I add anything else to the bird feeders for variety?

Feel free to experiment by adding fruit pieces, nut pieces, or different types of seeds to attract a wider variety of birds.

What should I do if the pine cone bird feeder attracts unwanted animals?

If unwanted wild animals like squirrels are a problem, try hanging the feeders higher or using a feeder pole with a baffle. Be mindful of where you place the feeders to avoid attracting animals close to your home.
May 11, 2021
How to Plan a Toddler Birthday Party
The key to a successful toddler birthday party is to plan activities with developmental expectations such as social development, attention span, and energy levels in mind.

These tips below, including decoration ideas and more can help you plan the perfect birthday party for your toddler!

Many parents go to a lot of work to plan the perfect party for their toddlers. The results can quickly become disappointing when chaos erupts, or the plan falls apart. A large part of the chaos can be avoided by considering developmental issues prior to planning the party.

Printable Birthday Party Planner Checklist

The following topics below will help you plan your next toddler birthday party including theme and decoration ideas, what to serve your guests, best time and days to have the party, choosing a location, who to invite, planning activities, and social expectations.

How to Plan a Toddler Birthday Party

Deciding on a Birthday Theme, and Decorations

A fun part of the toddler birthday party planning process is choosing themes and decorations for birthday parties.

It’s totally a personal choice on how big or small you want to go to help your little one celebrate their big day. I know some moms go all out and plan very detailed toddler birthday parties. Or, if you want to go simple, you can go that route, too.

To help with my own kid’s birthday parties, I purchased convenient party sets that were already planned out and put together for my kids birthday parties!

These kits can include a variety of items like the tablecloth, table runner, centerpiece, cake toppers, banners, streamers, balloons, confetti, cups, plates, napkins, utensils, and more.

Kits vary in size and come with items that typically serve anywhere from 8-16 guests.

Here are a few popular themed birthday party decoration sets available:
- Disney Princess
- Mickey Mouse
- Minnie Mouse
- Winnie the Pooh
- Elmo
- Paw Patrol (includes a pink Skye set for girls!)
- Toy Story
- Dinosaurs
- Construction
- Unicorns
- Mermaids
Choosing What to Serve

Besides the cake, cupcakes, and ice cream that are normally served at toddler birthday parties, consider serving other finger food snacks like gold fish and crackers. Be mindful of choking hazards and make sure foods are toddler friendly.

You can also serve juice pouches or juice boxes, or have mini water bottles available for toddler guests.

Consider the parent guests, too. They may want to have access to drinks and food while watching their very energetic toddler at the party! Consider setting up a space for adult non-alcoholic drinks and snacks.

Best Day and Time to Have the Party

Consider energy levels for both kids and parents.

Most children in this age group need naps in the middle of the day, at least be needing quiet time during the day. Although it may not be the most popular time for parents, mornings can work well for toddler parties since the toddler is more refreshed from a full night’s sleep. Afternoons can work if the party is held shortly after nap time.

As a mom with three kids, I always planned our toddler parties from about 10-11:30am or parties after 2pm or 3pm on a Saturday. This all depends on your toddler’s nap schedule. I did notice that we had great attendance on Sunday afternoons after church when Saturdays weren’t available.

I would avoid week day parties after work hours if possible, considering parents may be exhausted after a long work day!

Printable Birthday Party Checklist
Choose Your Location

There are a variety of locations to host a toddler birthday party. Check around your local area to see what options are available and are considered toddler friendly.

Consider the cost when choosing a location since some areas you may have to rent the space.

Having a party at a local park is always a popular option. Just make sure to secure a space the day of the party to make sure you’ll have room for your guests.

We did plan several Chuck E. Cheese birthday parties for my kids. But there are many other options, too.

I don’t recommend planning locations that are over 30 minutes away unless you know for sure you’ll have a great attendance that day. It’s not always easy for guests to drive a long distance to make a birthday party.

Consider reading, Should You Have Your Child’s Birthday Party At Home or Away?

Inviting Guests – Include Other Parents or Caregivers

It is perfectly acceptable to ask the parents or caregivers of the other children that are invited to attend the party with their child.

Many parents already assume they will attend with their child, but some may look at it as an opportunity to have their own quiet time while their child attends the party.

Including the parents of the guests has two benefits.

First, the guests will feel more safe and comfortable knowing their own parent or caregiver is available should they become anxious.

Second, this allows the parents of the birthday child more opportunity to enjoy the milestone celebration along with their child rather than spending it trying to console unattended and possibly overtired guests.

Printable Birthday Party Planner

Attention Span and Planning Activities

Toddlers have short attention spans.

Party activities that last a long time will lose the interest of the children quickly. The best approach is to have a few different activities that can be completed in a short period of time rather than one or two hour-long games that require concentration.

Getting to the point of the activity as soon as possible is more stimulating for young guests.

Some quick tips to think about regarding attention span when planning a toddler birthday party include:
- Keep the party short. An hour to an hour and a half is plenty of time to accomplish a few activities and have a few treats.
- Keep the party activities brief and to the point. Long-drawn out activities will lose the interest of the children quickly.
- Be flexible. If the children are losing interest in musical chairs and choosing to play with the box in the corner, abandon the game and go with the box.
Social Expectations

It is important to remember that children of this age are not yet developmentally ready to socialize the same way older children do.

Two and three-year-old children tend to play side by side rather by interacting with their peers. This means that parents do not have to feel that they did something wrong if the birthday child and guests are playing in separate corners.

Sharing is another issue that parents tend to base the success of a birthday party. Toddlers are not yet developmentally capable of sharing. Parents should expect that battles over who had a toy first are perfectly normal and not a sign of bad parenting.

Often, some gentle distractions can help alleviate the situation and keep it from becoming a larger problem.

Toddler birthday parties can be full of fun and create some wonderful memories. Keeping a few developmental issues in mind when planning the party can turn an otherwise chaotic party into a raving success.

Party Planner Event Planner Party Organiser Birthday Party
May 6, 2021
Toddler Diaper Bag Essentials

Are you heading out with your toddler soon? Learn what to pack in a diaper bag for a toddler with these toddler diaper bag essentials!

I’m a busy mom on the go with a 15 month old toddler in tow. Before I leave the house, I have to make sure I’m prepared with everything I need for a successful outing.

Diaper Bag Checklist: What to Pack in a Diaper Bag

Best Diaper Bag Backpack

I don’t want to be caught running errands with an unhappy baby boy all because I forgot to bring the essentials to keep him happy. If I’m planning a trip to the grocery store, the park, or even after school activities, I make sure my diaper bag is well stocked for every trip.

Today I’m going to share with you all of my diaper bag essentials that help keep baby boy happy when we are on-the-go.

Diaper Bag Essentials Checklist Printable

Toddler Diaper Bag Essentials

Diapers

I recommend packing at least five diapers at all times any time you are on the run. You probably won’t use them all, but at least you’ll have extras on hand in case you get caught up somewhere and your errands run longer than you expected.

Buy diapers here.

Advantages and Disadvantages of Cloth Diapers

Baby Wipes

Always keep a package of wipes in your diaper bag. Of course these are helpful for diaper changes, but they are always helpful for other things like spills, snotty noses, and wiping off dirt or food from little faces and hands

. I actually used our wipes today to wipe the handle off on our shopping cart because it was a little sticky when I was shopping — ick!

Buy baby wipes here.

Diaper Rash Cream

Toddlers can get diaper rashes for a variety of reasons. You definitely don’t want to get caught out and about running errands with a baby that has diaper rash. Diaper rash can be super uncomfortable for baby, causing him or her to squirm around in pain.

I recommend keeping diaper rash cream in your diaper bag for those times when your baby needs quick relief from the pain caused by diaper rash.

Buy diaper rash cream here.

Spill Proof Sippy Cup

Take your toddler’s favorite sippy cup filled with water, juice or milk.

When my toddler gets squirmy, I often find that he loves to grab a hold of his sippy cup and take a few sips from it. Sometimes he likes to hold it and play with his sippy cup so at least it keeps him entertained for a bit.

Buy sippy cups here.

Snacks

I keep a variety of snacks in my diaper bag. My toddler loves to eat different types of crackers when we are out and about. They are easy to hand him and they keep him happy for a little while.

Buy snacks for baby here.

Small Toys

It’s a good idea to keep a few fun toys in your diaper bag to keep your toddler entertained. I try to keep a few items in the bag that he hasn’t seen in a while because I find that it holds his attention longer if it’s something he hasn’t played with much.

Buy small toys here.

You can even hand your toddler toys from the shelf if you are comfortable doing that. This toy kept my boy happy for a while when I was out shopping for Christmas this week.

Extra change of clothes

Keep an extra set of clothes in your diaper bag (I place mine in a gallon size storage bag) for times when you may need to change your toddler’s clothes due to potty accidents, spills, getting dirty, or other reasons.

All of the items listed above are my diaper bag essentials that I must have with me whenever and wherever I go with my toddler. When I have all of these things ready and available, I’m a happy mama and he’s a happy boy.

Diaper Bag Essentials Checklist

Diaper Bag Checklist

Diaper Bag Checklist

Diaper Bag Checklist Printable

May 6, 2021
Diaper Bag Checklist

Are you heading out with your baby or toddler? Learn what to pack in the diaper bag with this diaper bag checklist!

Keeping a well stocked diaper bag is important for any mom on the go with a baby or toddler!

After child number 3, I’m a pro at diaper bag essentials. I keep my diaper bag stocked with plenty of useful items to have on hand in a moments notice.

Toddler Diaper Bag Essentials

Best Diaper Bag Backpack

You never know when you’ll decide to head out for the day and it’s always important to have the following items in your diaper bag at all times.

Printable Diaper Bag Checklist

Diaper Bag Checklist

Diapers

Keep about 5-10 diapers handy at all times in your diaper bag. This may be more than you’ll need in one outing, but you never know if you’ll get caught out and about or stay somewhere longer than expected.

Don’t forget to pack disposable diaper bags for dirty diapers or soiled clothing. Pack hand sanitizer in case you can’t get to a restroom to wash your hands after changes.

Advantages and Disadvantages of Cloth Diapers

Wipes

One package of baby wipes is all you need for diaper changes. Wipes also come in handy for spills, dirty faces, and more!

Changing Pad

You never know where you’ll be when you need to change a diaper! While most bathrooms include a changing table, there are many that don’t. Keep a small, portable changing pad handy for changing wet or dirty diapers. These disposable diaper bags are perfect for disposing wet or dirty diapers!

Diaper Rash Cream

Keep baby comfortable with diaper rash cream if he/she develops a rash while out and about.

Extra Set of Clothes

Let’s face it. Babies and toddlers can get messy. Whether it’s food, dirt, spit up, or blow outs, it’s always a good idea to keep an extra set of clothes in the diaper bag just in case. Don’t forget baby bibs!

Pacifiers and Wipes

To calm a fussy baby, keep a pacifier handy. If you happen to drop the pacifier, simply wash the pacifier or pacifier wipes made specifically for pacifiers for easy cleaning.

Pacifier clips come in handy, too.

Bottles and Formula

Keep plenty of bottles and enough baby formula on hand for feeding times, unless you breastfeed of course.

These baby formula dispensers come in handy during outings! We used one for all three of our babies!

Small Toy or Book

If you are waiting in line or at an appointment, etc., keep a small baby toys or board books available to keep baby entertained.

Having these items on hand and well stocked in the diaper bag will help save time and possibly your sanity, too!

What items would you add to this list?

Diaper Bag Essentials Checklist

Diaper Bag Checklist

Diaper Bag Checklist

Diaper Bag Checklist Printable

May 6, 2021
How to Get Toddlers to Brush Their Teeth

Looking for ways to get a toddler to open up for a toothbrush? Read on for tips and tricks for how to get toddlers to brush their teeth.

Some kids are reluctant to brush their teeth while others don’t want a toothbrush anywhere near their mouths! Here are some creative ideas to try out that will help make brushing more fun, interesting, and possible for everyone involved.

How to Get Toddlers to Brush Their Teeth

Take Turns Brushing With Child

One way to get a toddler to brush his or her teeth is to take turns. Kids always like choices, so a parent can say, “Do you want Mommy /Daddy to brush your teeth first or you to brush your teeth first?” Then let the child decide who will do it first. Either way, it is a win-win situation because the parent gets to brush the toddler’s teeth, and the child feels like he or she has some power.

Have Two Toothbrushes, One for Parent and One for Child

Another way to get a child more interested in brushing teeth is to have one toothbrush for mom or dad and one for the child. Letting the child have a toothbrush allows him or her to have a sense of independence and to be in control. While the child is busy brushing one corner of their mouth, parents can be working on the other parts and then switch sides.

Try an Electric Toothbrush With Toddler

Get an electric toothbrush made for toddlers. The movement is interesting for kids who are still exploring things with their mouths. And if young kids are teething, it might even feel good. Having two toothbrushes – an electric toothbrush and a regular toothbrush – is also a good idea because then parents can let kids choose which one they want to use for their teeth each night.

Make Sure Child Sees Family Members Brush Their Teeth

Kids are interested in doing what their parents and older siblings do. Make sure that toddlers see their brothers, sisters, and parents brushing their teeth whenever possible. It can also be helpful to have toddlers brush their teeth at the same time as the older kids and parents do. Making teeth brushing a family event on a regular basis can make the whole event go more smoothly as it becomes a routine that toddlers will just expect to happen.

Let the Child “Brush” Parent’s Teeth

If a parent is feeling daring enough, he or she can let the child brush the parent’s teeth (with some guidance on the parent’s part, of course!). Toddlers can find it fun and even funny to get a chance at their parent’s mouth with a toothbrush. A parent can say, “Your turn to do Mommy’s teeth!” and let the child help brush the parent’s teeth. Then the parent can say,” All finished! Now it’s my turn to do your teeth.” And take a whirl at brushing the child’s teeth.

Pretend to Brush Teddy Bear’s Teeth

Bring in a teddy bear or a favorite doll to help demonstrate the fun of cleaning teeth. A parent can “brush” the doll’s teeth and make it an entertaining and educational event. Talk it up by saying things like, “Teddy loves to get his teeth brushed! Nice and clean, teddy!” Ham it up and have fun with it. Then the parent can say, “Your turn!” and while the child is still smiling and having fun, it will be easier to brush his or her teeth.

Have Teddy Bear Brush the Toddler’s Teeth

Another idea is to have the teddy bear or doll to be in charge of brushing teeth. Have the teddy bear brush a parent’s teeth and then say, “Your turn” and have the bear “hold” the brush and brush the child’s teeth. Make a little voice for the teddy and have him say things like, “Teddy is so happy to brush your teeth! Open, open!” Kids will be laughing and smiling, which will make it easier for parents to get the toothbrush into the mouth.

Having trouble getting a toddler to brush? Let kids choose who will brush teeth first, the parent or the child. Have a toothbrush for the child and the parent and/or have an electric toothbrush for kids too. Make sure toddlers see everyone in the family brushing their teeth and make it a family routine for cleaning teeth. Another method is to have a teddy bear to help a parent with demonstrating and brushing teeth.

May 3, 2021
How to Help Adopted Kids Deal With Separation Anxiety
Does your adopted child have separation anxiety? Learn tips for how to help adopted kids deal with separation anxiety.

Most parents have had the experience of a screaming toddler hanging onto their pant leg on the way out the door to a meeting for which they are already late. Every parent handles this tense situation differently, depending on the needs and behavioral patterns of the child.

But what happens if the separation anxiety is experienced by a child who has had significant losses in his life, such as an adopted child?

How to Help Adopted Children with Food Issues

How to Help Adopted Kids Answer Adoption Questions

Sleep Issues with Adopted Kids

Are there special considerations that adoptive parents need to keep in mind for their children? Is there a proper way to handle these situations for kids who have been adopted internationally as an older child versus a child adopted domestically as an infant?

As in all things related to adoption, it depends on the child and how the adoptive parents respond to the situation.

How to Help Adopted Kids Deal With Separation Anxiety

How Common Is Separation Anxiety in Adopted Kids?

It is normal for all children, adopted and biological, to experience some form of separation anxiety at certain times during childhood. Typically, many children experience separation anxiety between 18 months and three years with situations such as starting school or moving to a new house.

For adopted kids, it is also common for separation anxiety to occur throughout the night and even if the parent is in a different room for a few minutes.

According to the Anxiety Disorders Association of America, 4 % of kids aged seven to nine who have a more difficult time than most kids with separating from parents, suffer from separation anxiety disorder. The key factor of the disorder is that the children genuinely fear for their primary caregiver’s safety during the time they are separated.

Why Do Adopted Children Have Separation Anxiety?

For adoptive families, there may be the complicating factor of attachment issues. When separation anxiety is looked at from an adoption perspective, the anxious feelings may be coming from something bigger than mom and dad going out to dinner for a couple hours.

Consider that some adoptees may react with separation anxiety if they are experiencing:
- Fear of the unknown
- Fear of abandonment
- Fear of rejection
- Lack of control over their environment
- Concern over the safety of their parents
Depending on the child’s developmental stage, these fears may stem from the child’s pre-adoption experiences. On the opposite end of the spectrum, adopted children may be very willing to go to new caregivers as they have not yet formed a significant attachment to their new parents.

Although not separation anxiety, this kind of behavior is also problematic, as it could be an indicator of an attachment disorder.

Gift for Adopted Child

Ways to Help Adopted Kids Cope with Separation Anxiety

In most cases, an adopted child’s separation anxiety can be managed and lessens over time. In the meantime, there are some strategies adoptive parents can use to help ease both the child’s and parent’s emotions at departure times:
- Reassure child of parents’ return by giving a specific time and following through on that promise.
- If possible, have lengthy transition periods to a new environment.
- Maintain regular routine so that fatigue and hunger are not prolonging the anxiety.
- Avoid letting the child see the parent’s emotions about the separation.
- Speak matter-of-factly to the child about the emotions he is experiencing.
- Provide lots of opportunities for deepening the parent-child relationship to help offset the insecure feelings that arise in the child during separations.
Modern Adoption Day Family Shirts Infant-Adult Sizes

Keep in mind the child is not causing these behaviors to upset the parents on purpose and in five to 10 minutes the child will be calmed down. Separation anxiety is the child’s way of communicating his insecurities and it does not help if adoptive parents delay the separation by comforting the child too long at departure time.

Even though separation anxiety can be very hard on parents, adoptive parents can be encouraged by the fact that the anxious behaviors are a sign of a firm parent-child attachment. With this perspective, adoptive parents will find it easier to help their child cope as they can understand the anxiety is part of normal child development.
April 9, 2021